Quotes

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr. -- Will Rogers

MAFIA, n: [Acronym for Mechanized Applications in Forced Insurance Accounting.] An extensive network with many on-line and offshore subsystems running under OS, DOS, and IOS. MAFIA documentation is rather scanty, and the MAFIA sales office exhibits that testy reluctance to bona fide inquiries which is the hallmark of so many DP operations. From the little that has seeped out, it would appear that MAFIA operates under a non-standard protocol, OMERTA, a tight-lipped variant of SNA, in which extended handshakes also perform complex security functions. The known timesharing aspects of MAFIA point to a more than usually autocratic operating system. Screen prompts carry an imperative, nonrefusable weighting (most menus offer simple YES/YES options, defaulting to YES) that precludes indifference or delay. Uniquely, all editing under MAFIA is performed centrally, using a powerful rubout feature capable of erasing files, filors, filees, and entire nodal aggravations. -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP Dictionary"
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Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.
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Marriage is not a word, its a sentence.
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“Woke up and smelled the coffee. Awaiting further instructions.”

“Is it just me, or am I an egomaniac?”

“Breakfast. Not just for breakfast anymore!” Craig Bierko
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CFno
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As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. -- Oscar Wilde
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'God saves but Buddha makes incremental backups'

----------------- > "Listen, I am a product of the Vietnam world" President George W Bush (who used his family connections to dodge service in Indochina), November 2002 in interview with Bob Woodward.
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In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at discotheques. -- Art Linkletter
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Entropy isn't what it used to be.
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"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind ... and when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded with patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader, and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar." - William Shakespeare
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"If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows." -- Yiddish saying
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Flugg's Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
______ Eggnog is a traditional holiday drink invented by the English. Many people wonder where the word "eggnog" comes from. The first syllable comes from the English word "egg", meaning "egg". I don't know where the "nog" comes from. To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine gin and, if they are in season, eggs...
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt _____________

A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary. Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a round tuit now has no excuse for further procrastination.
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"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then -- to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn." -- T.H. White, "The Once and Future King" ________

"Nice dress but your pocketbook is on fire" Tallulah Bankhead to Pope

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know-I've been using it for years.

I am as pure as the driven slush.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. - all from Tallulah Bankhead http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/q104900.html
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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer.
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"Give a man a fish and he will know where he can get a fish. Teach a man to fish, and it will ruin your market." My Fat Greek Wedding
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We must believe in free will. We have no other choice. Isaac Bashevis Singer _______

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. Mark Twain
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People constantly speak of "the government" doing this or that, as they might speak of God doing it. But the government is really nothing but a group of men, and usually they are very inferior men. They may have some better man working for them, but they themselves are seldom worthy of any respect. H.L. Mencken
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Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to deceive themselves. Eric Hoffer
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There's an illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love. That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved. Boy George ________

To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason. H.L. Mencken
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Trivial facts are often the best hints to what is going on. J.M. Roberts __________

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. H.L. Mencken
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When morality comes up against profit, it is seldom that profit loses. Shirley Chisholm
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When watching men of power in action it must be always kept in mind that, whether they know it or not, their main purpose is the elimination or neutralization of the independent individual- the independent voter, consumer, worker, owner, thinker- and that every device they employ aims at turning men into a manipulable "animated instrument" which is Aristotle's definition of a slave. Eric Hoffer
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I don't even know what street Canada is on. Al Capone
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. Garrison Keillor
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It has, I belive been often remarked that a hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. Samuel Butler 1835-1902, Life and Habit, Ch. 8
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A Canadian is someone, who knows how to make love in a canoe. Pierre Berton
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What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? Sydney Smith all from http://www.wtr.ru/aphorism/eng/whatnew1.htm
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Acting is like making love. It's better if your partner is good but it's probably possible if your partner isn't. Jeremy Irons Cinema, Cinemas, Antenne 2 (French TV, 15 January 1991)
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America is a consumer culture, and when we change what we buy - and how we buy it - we-ll change who we are. Faith Popcorn
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Every why hath a wherefore. William Shakespeare
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Everyone lives by selling something. Robert Louis Stevenson
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For every why he had a wherefore. Samuel Butler 1612-1680, Hudibras, 132
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He who knows nothing doubts nothing. Spanish Proverb
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Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. Samuel Butler 1835-1902, Notebooks, Ch.1, 9
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Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. George Orwell
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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz
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No goverment ought to be without censors; and where the press is free, no one ever will. Thomas Jefferson
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The longer the title, the less important the job. George McGovern
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The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people. E.B. White
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There is one thing certain, namely, that we can have nothing certain; therefore it is not certain that we can have nothing certain. Samuel Butler
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If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 apostles.
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Light is the shadow of God. Plato
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How can we have any new ideas or fresh outlooks when ninety per cent of all the scientists who have ever lived have not yet died? Alan L Macay
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Art does not reproduce the visible; rather, it makes visible. (Paul Klee, In: Creative Credo, sec. 1, The Inward Vision, 1957, originally published 1920)
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Boys, baseball is a game where you gotta have fun. You do that by winning. Dave Bristol, manager
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Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave. Constantin Brancusi
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car. Laurence J. Peter
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I don't think suicide is so terrible. Some rainy winter Sunday, when there's a little boredom, you should always carry a gun.Not to shoot yourself, but to know exactly that you're always making a choice. -Lina Wertmuller
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I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. Mae West

I used to be Snow White...but I drifted. Mae West

Marriage is a fine institution - but I'm not ready for an institution. Mae West
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Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value. Mark Twain
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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. Henry David Thoreau
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Talent always beats experience. Because by the time you get experience, the talent's gone. Pat Corrales, manager
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There are two kinds of women:those who want power in the world and those who want power in bed. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
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There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him. Robert Heinlein
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They make a desert and call it peace. Tacitus
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From the moment I picked up your book, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it. - Groucho Marx
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I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk. Robert Bloch
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I don't know why people think I'm a dumb blonde -- I know I'm not dumb, and I'm _certainly_ not a blonde. It takes a lot of money to look this cheap! Dolly Parton
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Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. Sophia Loren
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Good taste is the enemy of creativity. Pablo Picasso
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My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. Abraham Lincoln
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If money could talk, it would say goodbye. Anon.
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Pain and death are a part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself. Havelock Ellis
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That we must all die, we always knew; I wish I had remembered it sooner. Samuel Johnson: Letter to Sir Joshua Reynolds
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T he secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so that they believe they are as clever as he. Karl Kraus
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When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. --Helen Rowland
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Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too. Joan Rivers
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No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road - turn back. Turkish Proverb
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The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shaw
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A painter can hang his pictures, but a writer can only hang himself. Edward Dahlberg
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A credit card is something that enables us to spend money we don't have for things we don't need to impress folks we don't like. Anon.
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I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book. Julius Henry (Groucho) Marx (1895-1977)
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It's lonely at the top, but the food is better. Woody Allen
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Anon.
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There are plenty of people who believe that Elvis is alive, or that aliens occasionally land here to do highly personal things to people, or that the whole idea of evolution is a conspiracy of godless scientists. Almost all of these people can vote and some of them have got guns. Terry Pratchett
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There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him. Robert Heinlein
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Even I don-t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford. Cindy Crawford
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An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. John Buhan
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Authority is never without hate. Euripides
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Do not make yourself so big, you are not so small. Jewish Proverb
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In art, as in love, instinct is enough. Anatole France
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The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines. Frank Lloyd Wright
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There are bad manners everywhere, but aristocracy is bad manners organised. Henry James
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To betray you must first belong. Harold Philby
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With audacity one can undertake anything , but not do everything. Napoleon I
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And nobody calls you a dunce, //
And people suppose me clever: //
This could but have happened once, //
And we missed it, lost it for ever. Robert Browning, Youth and Art, 17
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Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. George-Louis De Buffon (1707-1788), attr. In Herault de Sechelles, Voyage a Montbar
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I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away. Louise Brooks (1908-1985) own epithaph, quoted in Kenneth Tynan, Show People
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It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. P.G. Wodenhouse
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T here's a Bible on that shelf there. But I keep it next to Voltaire - poison and antidote. Bertrand Russel
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A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more could one want? Oscar Wilde
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At one time I thought he wanted to be an actor. He had certain qualifications, including no money and a total lack of responsibility. Hedda Hopper (1890-1966)
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Cocaine is God's way of telling you that you make too much money. Robin Williams
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As you know, God is usually on the side of the big battalions against the small. Comte De Bussy-Rabutin (1618-1693), Letter to the Comte de Limoges, 18 Oct. 1677
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If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest man, I will find something in them which will hang him. Cardinal Richelieu (from M. Kogan)
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If you wonder why something is the way it is, find out who's making money from it being that way.
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It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me. But it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important. Martin Luther King
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Money can't buy friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. Senator Somers White
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Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada. Anon.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Anon.
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Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots. Anon.
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Neither current events nor history show that the majority rule, or ever did rule.Jefferson Davis (1808-1889)
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Young men think older women know everything and suspect nothing. Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. Ambrose Bierce
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Childhood ends at 12, youth at 18, love at 20, faith at 30, hope at 40, desire at 50. German proverb
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War Is like love, it always finds a way. Bertold Brecht (1898-1956)
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Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. Brendan Behan (1923-1964), Richard's Cork Leg
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Take the first advice of a woman; not the second. French proverb
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Lord, if there is a Lord? Save my soul, if I have a soul. Ernest Renan
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Most people would succeed in small things, if they were not troubled with great ambitions. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. Gracie Allen
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First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then a drink takes the man. Japanese proverb
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To be really cosmopolitan, a man must be at home even in his own country. Thomas Wentworth Higginson: Short Studies of American Authors
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If Mr.Selwyn calls, let him in; if I am alive I shall be very glad to see him, and if I am dead, he will be very glad to see me. Last words of Henry Fox: referring to George Augustus Selwyn, who had morbid interest in the dead. ______

There are two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it. - Thomas Love Peacock: Melincourt
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Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. William Blake: Proverbs of Hell
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Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. Stewart Henderson Britt quoted in New York Herald Tribune, Oct. 30,1956
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Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. Francis Bacon: Aphotegms, quoted as by Queen Elizabeth
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Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. Oscar Wilde: A Woman Of No Importance
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.Genealogist v One who traces back your family as for as your money will go. Anon.
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My dear friend, clear your mind of can't. Samuel Johnson in Boswell-s Life, May 15, 1783
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Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. Nelson Algren, Newsweek, July 2, 1956
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I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. Mary Wortley Montagu
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Accident - An inevitable occurence due to the action of immutable natural laws. Ambrose Bierce
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Actor - a guy who, if you ain't about him, he ain't listening. Marlon Brando
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Advice - what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Erica Jong
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Barking dogs seldom bite. Proverb
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Do your job and demand your compensation, but in that order. Cary Grant
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He that has no children brings then up well. Proverb
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Only little people pay taxes. Leona Helmsley
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Success follows doing what you want to do. There is no other way to be successfull. Malcolm Forbes
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Those who are absent are always wrong. English Proverb
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To achive great things we must live as though we were never going to die. Luc de Vauvenargues
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My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine" Tallulah Bankhead again
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Here's a rule I recommend. Never practice two vices at once.
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more Bankhead ....

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.

I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, "I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."

After Norman Mailer's publishers convinced him to bowdlerize fuck as fug in his work The Naked and the Dead (1948), Tallulah Bankhead supposedly greeted him with the quip, "So you're the young man who can't spell fuck." (In fact, according to Mailer, the quip was from a PR man and he and Bankhead never met until 1966 and did not discuss the word then.)

(The actress Tallulah Bankhead was in a Catholic church once when the priest walked by swinging a censor. She is reported to have quipped “Lovely frock, Dahling, but your purse is on fire!”)

Tallulah once attended a midnight mass on Christmas after "peering through the bottom of many a highball glass." She sat next to the aisle and when the priest led a procession in his robe while carrying a smoking inscensure, she leaned into the aisle and said loud enough for all to hear: "Darling, your gown is lovely but I'm afraid I have to tell you your purse is on fire."

"I'll come up and make love to you at 5 o'clock. If I'm late, start without me"
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Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it - even if I have said it - unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. (Buddha)
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Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. (Ed Cunningham)
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Dance like no one is watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like no one is listening, Live like it's heaven on earth. (William Purkey)
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. (Bertrand Russell)
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Moral indignation in most cases is, 2% moral, 48% indignation, and 50% envy. (Vittorio De Sica)
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Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun--and neither can stop the march of events. (Robert Heinlein)
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way. (Mark Twain)
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Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. (Abraham Lincoln)
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Without the 2nd Amendment, the others are just suggestions.
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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the process.
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Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. (Bugs Bunny)
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. (Albert Einstein)
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Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. (Muhammad Ali)
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The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. (Harriet Beecher Stowe)
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Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. (Picasso)
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The odd thing is, whatever you've been stingy about is something you never use anyway. It's like life itself ... spend it -- spend it because you have it. (Penelope Gilliatt)
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
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the most wasted of all days is the one without laughter (ee cummings)
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The direct use of force is so poor a solution to the problems of limited resources that it is commonly employed only by small children and great nations. (David Friedman)
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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. (Swami X)
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The most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or touched -- they are felt by the human heart. (Helen Keller)
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Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. (Sophia Loren)
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I just see my life as a series of really interesting mistakes. (Susan Sarandon)
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Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. (Sarah Bernhardt)
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There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe. (Einstein)
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The world has achieved brilliance without conscience... Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. (Omar Bradley)
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Government wants to control your language because that's how you control thought. Which is basically the game they're in. (George Carlin)
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I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I'm a human being first and foremost, and as such I am for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole. (Malcolm X)
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A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. (Emerson)
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. -- Ambrose Bierce
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The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
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In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled.
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Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way ________

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW" means the price went way up.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock. __________

Baruch's Observation: If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
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The doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man really clever who has not found that he is stupid. -- Gilbert K. Chesterson
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What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
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What good is a ticket to the good life, if you can't find the entrance
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Jack Lang, the former Socialist arts minister who now chairs the National Assembly's foreign affairs committee (FRANCE), was characteristically trenchant Tuesday morning: "More than ever before President Bush proves himself to be blinded by his messianic fundamentalism. "By deliberately violating international law, Mr Bush is encouraging all those who - in a world of fanatics - do not fear to use blind terror and violence," he said
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Democracy, n.: A government of the masses. Authority derived through mass meeting or any other form of direct expression. Results in mobocracy. Attitude toward property is communistic... negating property rights. Attitude toward law is that the will of the majority shall regulate, whether it is based upon deliberation or governed by passion, prejudice, and impulse, without restraint or regard to consequences. Result is demagogism, license, agitation, discontent, anarchy. -- U. S. Army Training Manual No. 2000-25 (1928-1932), since withdrawn.
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A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle. _________

"Alan Greenspan was admitted to the hospital today with an enlarged prostitute" (MSNBC scroll week of april 21-03)
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If it ain't broke, break it
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Nuke the baby whales for Jesus
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Jesus drove an SUV; Mohammed pumped his gas. (Moses held the title). _____

Q. How many college professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. But after he gets tenure, he never changes it again.
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Henry A. Kissinger, the former Secretary of State, joked recently to a group of businesspeople in New York that Secretary Powell was viewed abroad as "a small country that occasionally does business with the United States," according to someone in the room. May 31, 2003 NYT
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"There's one way to find out it a man is honest -- ask him. If he says 'yes', he's a crook." Groucho Marx
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GEMINI (May 21 to Jun. 20) Good news and bad news highlighted. Enjoy the good news while you can; the bad news will make you forget it. You will enjoy praise and respect from those around you; everybody loves a sucker. A short trip is in the stars, possibly to the men's room
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"What are we going to do?" "Me, I'm examining the major Western religions. I'm looking for something that's soft on morality, generous with holidays, and has a short initiation period."
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"There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain." -- Baron Rothschild, ca. 1800
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"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!" -- Royal Floyd Mengot (Klaus)
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"What's another word for Thesaurus?" -- Steven Wright
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"Right-wing talk show hosts write with crayons while liberal host write with fine quilt pens." Mario Cuomo
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"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." --Mahatma Gandhi
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"She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to." -- Gypsy Rose Lee
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He thrust himself back into the headlines this spring with an attack on the State Department under the stewardship of Colin Powell. Gingrich said the secretary of state was guilty of "a pattern of diplomatic failure" that could "undo the effects of military victory" in Iraq. The reaction was as scathing as the speech. "It's clear Mr. Gingrich is off his meds and out of therapy," Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage said.
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THE STORY OF CREATION or THE MYTH OF URK In the beginning there was data. The data was without form and null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of IBM was moving over the face of the market. And DEC said, "Let there be registers"; and there were registers. And DEC saw that they carried; and DEC separated the data from the instructions. DEC called the data Stack, and the instructions they called Code. And there was evening and there was morning, one interrupt ... -- Rico Tudor
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"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl." -- Kevin McCurley's Thought for the Day, June 24, 1997.
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Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you wish you weren't.
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Bob Hope - "I told Jack Benny he really ought to do something for that orphanage in Los Angeles. So he shot both of his parents and moved in."
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"Phyliss Diller is so ugly that a peeping tom threw up on her windowsill."